I requested the opportunity to review New York Times Bestseller Kim Harrison’s recent
collection of short stories and novellas. The advance information I received
indicated that most of the stories were based in the same world—the magical
Hallows—as that of Ever After, which
I had recently read and reviewed (see: http://michaelrcollings.blogspot.com/2012/12/kim-harrison-everafter.html).
While Ever After disappointed in
several ways, particularly on the level of fundamental writing skills, I hoped
that the short stories might prove otherwise. After all, novels are by their
nature diffuse, often harboring minor gaffes in grammar or syntax that, given
the expansive canvas of the story telling, might not be noticed.
Short stories are tighter, tauter…in a word, shorter. They
provide writers with the chance—and the challenge—to focus on each word and
phrase. Rather like a poem, a story that falters too often in word choice or
sentence structure doesn’t really have the scope to repair the damage.
Unfortunately, most
of the difficulties noted in my review of Ever
After recur repeatedly in the pages of Into
the Woods. On the level of basic writing, within one story there were
multiple examples of noun/pronoun agreement problems; general wordiness;
missing or inappropriate punctuation (usually commas); repetition of key words
and phrases, often within a line or two of each other; dangling modifiers;
misplaced adverbs; run-together sentences; then
instead of than; vaguely used
pronouns; verb tense agreement; grammatical wobbles; statement errors, in which
the sentence verbs cannot logically link the subject and the predicate (“Ceri
hesitated her struggles); and sudden and jarring shifts in tone. All compressed
into fourteen pages.
Dialogue—most of the story—was stiff and hackneyed, in part
perhaps because the speakers were a demon and an elf; descriptions frequently
incorporated clichés. Throughout, far too many spoken lines were accompanied by
extended stage directions that concentrated on minor—and probably
unnecessary—actions. Action, when it finally occurred, was deflated by the
wordiness describing it.
And that in just one story.
To her credit, Harrison demonstrates extraordinary
creativity in her characters and her world. Some stories work better than
others, capturing the allure of magic and the price it demands, but the
difficulties in reading them too often outweigh the narrative force.
Readers interested only in gaining additional insight into
the Hallows and their environs, or who are wholly committed to the continuing
saga of Rachel Morgan, will find much new information here. But for me, the
intellectual strain of getting through the stories spoiled them.
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